Bhaalspawn Chronicles
by sirfrank
Summary: There is more than one type of power. Enlightenment, or the closer one gets to it, shows that there is only one power left in the end: Love.
1. Chapter 1

First Draft started 05/07/2006 Revision finished 06/02/2006

Bhaalspawn Chronicles

Based upon the Computer Role Playing Game Baldur's Gate II Shadows on Amn Throne Of Bhaal Main Character Name based upon a character in the Dragonlance series of Books By Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman © by Authors

Bhaalspawn Chronicles By Raistlin Majere Year 20 Month 12 Day 2

I died shortly after my Bhaalspawn essence drained from Irenicus back into myself. I am not sure why; perhaps it was a greater shock to my body than it could take upon itself all at once. My first sight back into life was Ellisime, Queen of the Elves. I seem to have unconsciously transported Imoen, Aerie, and myself back to the Elven Palace, before I died. Ellisime told me I was in a death-like state, but decay evidentially was not an issue. She told me that there had been a passage of 3 days. I have no conscious recollection of that time period. I am not sure I would want to know, given my Bhaalspawn heritage. Having the Lord God of Murder for my Father is not in phase with my philosophy of, relatively speaking, a need to at least feel like I am doing some good in this world. I also have a heartfelt disdain for organized Government. I feel the individual and individual freedoms in all aspects of life are more important than in giving trust to a single person or small group of people. Power can corrupt; absolute power can corrupt absolutely. This reminds me to watch myself, as well. To rise to a terribly vast power in order to thwart the evil power of Irenicus, only to be corrupted due to my own corruptible power, would be tragic and not just a little ironic. I believe the trick of Government as well as individual power is humility, although I can only truly speak for myself. I consider myself to be a watchdog of all that is good and true. The trouble with this is – who will watch the watchdog? I must strive to guard against myself. I must consider each blow I strike magically and the repercussions of same. The magic I wield is truly awesome. Due to my efficient and intelligent application of the spells that I am capable of, the strategies and tactics I have noted previously in my Journal have become just a first step towards the 'magic mountain' I now straddle. I can see how Irenicus might have felt – not having to answer to anyone for his actions. I can see his amoral journey, and am glad to have seen it, so that I may avoid such a dark path, and continue to strive for the good of most, if not all sentient creation, in my own life's journey. Humility serves well those who wield it well – to quote a Demon, no less, to my edification during my test regarding the last Tear of Bhaal. May Oghma, God of Knowledge, bless me to perceive and obtain the ultimate knowledge of the truth of reality, and humbly instill the spark of such to others, into a like flame as my own flame.

I have just re-read my Journal. Feeling the need to indulge myself in tying up a few loose ends, I ask your forbearance to consider the following observations. I had previously mentioned my abandonment of the ability or procedure someone might develop to copy knowledge from one mind to the next. Seemingly related, I later wrote of Pharie within the Underdark, and how she had at one point stopped talking to Imoen and I where she went into what looked like a trance. A few moments later, she told us the Matron Mother commanded us to speak with her at the City Temple. This seems to have been close to what I had previously been striving to accomplish: to copy knowledge from one mind to the next. In my own instance, I wanted to be able to copy the knowledge of Bodhi the Vampire into my own mind – without her permission. I shortly realized such an endeavor was an exercise into evil. However, Pharie looks to have had mind to mind remote communications with her Mother; the Drow may have simply come up with a way to speak to one another remotely, rather than knowledge transfer. I would still dearly enjoy learning to speak to another person from afar. I doubt the Drow would teach me. I am sure they would attack me on sight, should I make an attempt to learn this remote communication from the Drow. To lose such a chance for this ability is a great personal loss for me.

Another thought I wish to write about here is in regards to hypocrisy on my part. In reading my own Journal, I see that I am closer in deed to Irenicus than I can comfortably describe in these Bhaalspawn Chronicles. Nevertheless, I note that I wrote of the evil skullduggery of Irenicus, but failed until now to realize my own exploits of late are similar to his. Jon Irenicus was intent on becoming a God – which would kill all Elves (including the Averial – the Winged Elves?) in that process. I am similar to Jon in that I killed, probably to a great extent, the Koa Toa Nation. I left their City under the ocean full of dead Koa-Toans. Another example is that I was very close to an attempt to destroy an entire City of Drow –  
simply due to one Drow wanting to kill another Drow that I talked myself into thinking that he was a bit similar to me. I had noted in my Journal that I was 'itching' to pit my power against that entire Drow City on more than one occasion. This, at least, was the truth. It pains me to say my own journey is not unlike Jon's journey. Somehow, I must work towards either dampening this urge to kill, or to destroy it outright. If you please, wish me well in this endeavor, if in no other. Perhaps I should make it a point to pray to Oghma on a timelier basis. Oghma bless me to obtain this knowledge, or at least wisely do the right thing. I am not sure that Oghma is present; the human pantheon of Gods may include only Helm, the Guardian God. It will not hurt to try, although it may be an empty gesture.

My Journal also mentions a teleportation device within the dungeon of Irenicus. I write about this to remind myself to build my money assets in order to fund an expedition back into that dungeon and make a study of that device. Hopefully, I or someone else after me may understand the design and make teleportation from one place to another readily available for all sentient life on this world. Something to find out, first: Do the Gnomes or perhaps some other beings have such a device – completed or simply working on a device of this nature? If the former is the case, it would not be required to duplicate such work, although should it be the latter, I would go ahead and dig up that device, so that those who are working on such a device might compare notes, to increase the chance for success. Aerie has just read about what I have written so far within my Bhaalspawn Chronicles. She said that I am too hard on myself. I try to tell her that with great power comes great responsibility – my power exceeds my wisdom and I must be ever watchful – to be on guard just like Helm, for example. As well as Oghma, perhaps I should venerate Helm, the Guardian God, also known as The Watcher, and The Vigilant One. I could surely use Helm's help. Helm might very well be sympathetic to my petition, as Aerie and I were instrumental in sealing Watcher's Keep, which is now forever the abode of the Prince of all Demons – the 'Imprisoned One', he who must not be named.

As noted in my first Journal entry, I thought that Aerie might very well laugh in my face, when she would first come to know of my romantic interest. Later in my Journal, I, myself, laughed mockingly in the faces of several Vampires. So, I did not care for such to happen to me, yet I did it to the Vampires. No matter how foul my foe, there is no need for doing it, and at the very least, it is a negative trait that might become a habit.

One item I purchased very soon after I escaped from the dungeon of Irenicus is called the Glasses of Truth Seeing. Not only can you identify other items with these glasses, you can also read any text. I had some books that I could not read and by chance had the glasses on when one of the books fell from my table. When I picked it up, I found that I could now read the book. It seems that the more I know, the more I find that I do not know; which seems to create more questions rather than answers. For example: the word Truth. I have quite a collection of books. Some may even be unique on the world of Faerun. One book made note of a leader of men. His was an occupying force. A prisoner, who some said was a prophet, while others said he was the savior of the world, was brought before this man. He spoke of truth to the prisoner, saying: "What is Truth?" Another book that seems to be from the same world as the previous book mentioned, described 'visitors' from another world, who crashed into the world known as earth from the sky. Indeed: What is Truth? Perhaps the possibilities are infinite; which might mean such a question is not a valid question, as any response is correct in some way, or some where. Getting into such things has created an ache in my head. It may be that I am simply tired; I may have overly strained my eyes. The body needs rest, from time to time, but I am reluctant to indulge it at the current moment. Lately, I have heard of wars and rumors of wars, in respect to the Bhaalspawn. A whole town razed to get to a mages' tower and kill him simply because he was rumored to be a Bhaalspawn. I am going to petition for an audience with Ellisime, Queen of the Elves. I want to ask her if she could help me shed any light upon my Bhaalspawn heritage. Her General said she has a Divine link not unlike my own, although from a benign source. The Divine Circle of the Elves, the Seldarine, may be sympathetic to my quest for knowledge of self, since I was of some use to the Elves in preserving their immortal lives.

I have just been informed that there will be a celebration in honor of Imoen, Aerie, and myself in 10 hours. I'll get some rest, and prepare for it.

Bhaalspawn Chronicles Entry 2

Elven Celebration

Seeing so many Elves together all at once, along with the gracious words of their Queen, Ellisime almost set me to tears as I considered how very close Jon Irenicus was in simply wiping out the Elves from the face of Faerun. I should probably mention the Averial (Winged Elves) and the Drow, as well, although I am not quite certain these two groups of elves would have been affected. Yes, I mention the Drow, too. From what I have read, the Drow originally lived on the surface of Faerun much like most any other Elves, but had some kind of conflict with the other Elves who remained on the surface. And so, this sub-set of Elves became the Drow, who went to live underground as a result of that conflict. If what I have read is correct, there are also Sea Elves that could have been affected by the plan of Irenicus to become a God. Had Irenicus been successful in this plan, all of these immortal elves would have simply ceased to exist. Yet, More: knowing how Irenicus felt about other beings such as humans – that we are all vermin, I would extrapolate that eventually there would be no life, let alone sentient life, left on Faerun. Would Irenicus have ended up the sole God of a dead world? Or might his particularly virulent evil have gone on to destroy the multiverse? One thing seems to be a possibility within this current moment of reality: Aerie, Imoen, and I could very well have just become saviors of the whole world. Good work, if you can find it.

Bhaalspawn Chronicles Entry 3

Audience with the Queen of the Elves

Having properly thanked Ellisime for meeting with us, I first told her of my interest in communication with others from afar. She suggested that I ask the Gnomes. She mentioned they have a God of Invention and Innovations named Gond. After this preliminary conversation, I told Ellisime that I had two private matters to discuss with her. Taking a look around me, I found a unanimous look of alarm from the Elves of Ellisime's court. Someone started to object, but Ellisime held her hand up and asked for Privacy. The Elven court then left Ellisime, Imoen, Aerie, and I alone. Ellisime asked our forgiveness regarding her court, as she has never been alone with others that were not Elves. She bid us sit and be at ease. Something happened then, that also may be unique in the history of the Elves: Ellisime then got up from her throne, to pour some fine Elven wine for us all, making lovely small talk as she offered a filled cup to each of us. Even more, Ellisime did not go back to her throne, but took a seat amongst us, having come to us with a similarly filled cup.

Filled with wonder at the example of such humility in royalty, I commented to Ellisime that a few months ago I had wished I had been born a Winged Elf. I suggested that although I would not change a thing, I would have been blessed to have wished simply to have been born an Elf, with such a wise and humble Queen. Ellisime thanked me for such glowing praise, confessing to us that the recent events regarding Irenicus has caused her to re-think her position on a great many things, which, if she had her way, would very shortly change for the further enlightenment of her people. Touching Aerie's hand, she allowed me to bring it up to my lips, and I kissed one of those fingers. With one of my hands interwoven with her hand, I then looked back to Ellisime. I told Ellisime it has been both my pleasure and honor to aid the Elves. To have also had the help of both Imoen and Aerie has been a source of comfort to me. They have both unflinchingly stood by me without the least hesitation on their part. I then related to Ellisime that such as we three had become, the Elves may not know of again. I proposed to Ellisime that we three give of our knowledge, our experience, to teach the Elves with the idea of giving the Elves the ability to better protect themselves from literally anything on Faerun, including another internal problem. I also noted to Ellisime that I could very well give the Elves economic prosperity through teaching the Elven Mages of my own ability in this area of knowledge. The rapt joy on Ellisime's face was very apparent, as she considered my words. Having processed the data, Ellisime agreed that such learning would be most welcome. She then asked what the Elves could do for us. What I asked for was the help of the Elves in applying that knowledge to protect, then pass on that knowledge to the Averial – the Winged Elves. At this point, I was lucky that Aerie did not have the Hammer of Thunderbolts in her other hand – the strength she has when wielding it would have crushed my hand, as her hand clenched mine. I asked Aerie to advise Ellisime of the problems facing the Averial.

Aerie related to Ellisime that it was the evil Dragons that were the root of the problem of the very real threat of extinction for the Averial. When Aerie finished, I told Ellisime that I had two private matters to discuss with her. I told Ellisime of what happened during my stay in the Underdark. Imoen and I both had much to say. In ending, I again touched on the fact that my Bhaalspawn blood called on me to simply end the lives of all the Drow in that City, as well as my describing Solafien and his most un-Drow like demeanor, and that he thought there was like-minded Drow within the City. I told Ellisime of my tears for both the Drow and myself – that there may be hope for us both. I asked Ellisime to simply consider my words regarding the Drow. As for myself, I told Ellisime my Bhaalspawn essence is abhorrent to me, since it is a malign force within me. I told her this brought up the second of two private matters., saying that my Bhaalspawn essence nearly lost us our victory verses Irenicus; but for the loving face of Aerie, I might have destroyed not only our chance to defeat Irenicus, but Aerie and Imoen might have died before the Elves did. Love had conquered the Avatar that was struggling to manifest itself within me. This might bode well, and love may consistently win this conflict. However, I do not want to take the chance; there may well come a time when I come back to my senses, only to see Aerie or another being lying dead at my feet. I cannot look to this possibility without crying out within my mind to all that is good to relieve my agony. This is my plea to you, Queen Ellisime: help me understand myself; help me shed some light on my Bhaalspawn heritage. This might help Imoen, as well. Help me destroy this malign desire to kill. This is my ultimate task: to remove or destroy this force within me. To put away as far as possible this legacy my Father, Bhaal, Lord God of Murder, has given to me. With eyes wet with my tears I could not see Ellisime. She was silent for quite a few moments; then, with subdued countenance later reported to me by Aerie, Ellisime asked us all to return tomorrow; she then told me to send my Journal and Bhaalspawn Chronicles back to her by asking one of her clerics to present them to her. By this time, I had regained my composure, and left with Aerie and Imoen. This third entry in my Bhaalspawn Chronicles is all I have left to me. May Oghma or the Seldarine show Ellisime the best path from this current moment.

Bhaalspawn Chronicles Entry 4

Result of my Petition

Upon our return to the Palace, Ellisime first advised me the sages could find no fault in my Journal or Bhaalspawn Chronicles. She then went on to advise us of her decision to put on hold our further visit with the Elves pending the removal of that which is abhorrent to me. She said she regrets that we could not help her people at the present moment, but she must protect her people as well as she can. It was unspoken that to allow me near the Elves is to put them as risk of harm. However, there was one thing she could do for me at the present moment. Ellisime told me there is a sacred grove that she exclusively goes to, from time to time. This is where the Seldarine sometime speak to her. Ellisime will personally take us to this grove, shortly. She told me that the Seldarine may speak to me of my heritage.

Ellisime then came to me, and placed my Journal and Bhaalspawn Chronicles into my hands. She wished me well in my life's journey, and told me it would please her if I return, but only when I no longer have access to the discussed power within. With that, we left to ponder Ellisime's words to me. Aerie evidentially put on a face for Ellisime; when we were alone, it looked like she wanted to rip something apart, which seemed extremely out of character for her.  
Imoen just kept shaking her head no; I think she kept mumbling "Why? Why send us away? We could do so much good for them!" As for myself, I was sad, although it seems Ellisime probably made the best decision possible. It just seems a shame that we could not help the elves at the present moment. This is also going on Accounts Receivable on my Father's 'TAB'! If I have anything at all to say about it, that tab is going to be astronomical – which will be marked paid in full as soon as possible! 


	2. Chapter 2

Bhaalspawn Chronicles Entry 5

The Sacred Grove

As Ellisime left us at the Sacred Grove, I thought I detected a bit of sadness upon her face that I could not, at first, understand. I asked Aerie and Imoen to get comfortable, as I wanted to think for a while. The results of those thoughts will now be documented. I had, to date, thought both my innocence and ignorance of self had been shattered by recent events in my life. However, as I thought of these events of the past year that has been so many things all stuffed into such a short space of time, it is no wonder I might have thought that I knew myself well enough to see no fault within myself. Oh, I am not writing about the Bhaalspawn part of myself - it was my human side in which I had continued ignorance. I've noted my hypocrisy in my previous Bhaalspawn Chronicles entry. What I now have come to understand is that was but the tip of the 'iceberg'. Pride, perhaps, has literally gone before my fall. The logic I thought I had a handle on, has sadly been lacking within - both human and Bhaalspawn sides. The truth of the matter seems to be that logic, as well as critical thinking, has been lacking or even absent in my life. How is it that I can even think I love Aerie, when I continue to murder? Ok, I am a bit unique as a child of Bhaal, the dead God of Murder. However, did I not have a choice in the matter? Could I not have, over a thousand times, simply stopped trying to kill? The human in me has had this opportunity many, many hundreds of times. How can love exist, if murder is present in my heart, as well? What 'stays' my hand from Imoen or Aerie? Or the merchant on the street? Or the politician in the Government district? Or Ellisime, Queen of the Elves? I have to congratulate Ellisime; I wanted to teach the Elves? I am not fit to be on the same world! She has shown much restraint; I think I understand now, why she was sad as she left me: she was sad for ME! I could not add 2 plus 2 to arrive at the correct answer of 4. My vaunted intelligence and wisdom has not, until now, allowed me to see that I have a choice: I can be a part of Love or a part of Murder; to do both is to negate the first and merely justify the second. Love promotes life; murder ends it. What could be more simple? It is an epiphany that is most welcome, although creates a sadness that I have not seen it prior to this moment. All the good I thought to do is as ashes, should I continue in my lack of logic. I now actually learn to be wise; or at least, it seems, get a good start! I thought I had seen the chasm of evil at my feet named Irenicus. Then I thought I might be almost like him. Now I know he has been a puddle of water to my own ocean! I had 'complained' of the speck in the eye of Irenicus, and failed to notice the FOREST in mine!

So, then: how do I continue in my life's journey? I will now continue as long as I can in life, but I will not murder again. I don't know how Aerie and Imoen will deal with this, but I will now charge them with a most important task: if I ever turn into the slayer, they must keep in reserve the magic required to kill me for my own sake and peace of mind. Yes, I embrace love totally, and deny murder any hold upon me. Take that, Bhaal! It seems that I grow stranger than ever amongst my Bhaalspawn 'Kin'! Well, one thing I will have to do is give Aerie my ring that gives me a power of regeneration. It would not be any help to them if I do invoke or otherwise become the slayer for me to have such a power while they fulfill what would be the last wish of a dying man. I believe, together, they have the power to kill the slayer. What an ironic concept, yes? Perhaps Aerie, alone, actually has the power to kill the slayer herself, should Imoen be incapacitated. With a bit more experience, Imoen will then, also, have a like power to do it herself, should the need arise.

Bhaalspawn Chronicles Entry 6

Bhaalspawn Hunter

I gave Imoen my Staff of the Magi, to give her a bit more power, in case she had to fulfill my last wish by herself. I have replaced that staff with the Staff of Air for myself, which is a lot less powerful. I then gave my regeneration ring to Aerie. I asked them to do as I have noted in my 5th entry; they reluctantly accepted my charge. They both remain adamant in seeking to help me, and I told them that I consider myself greatly blessed by their continued presence in my life. I then told them there is still hope; it may not come to such a sad end. We then searched for the standing stones Ellisime told us about, in the form of faces. When we found one, we placed ourselves humbly before it, and waited for some words from the Seldarine. In a short while, the Seldarine did speak about a prophecy that actually mentioned me - Gorian's ward. We did not have much time to ponder those words; Aerie got my attention, signaling that we were being surrounded. I then got the attention of Imoen, and told them both to take a defensive stand and let me deal with them. A Bhaalspawn hunter, who was also Bhaalspawn herself, had tracked me to the Sacred Grove. Evidentially, they had picked up my trail somewhere between Athkatla, the City of Coins, and Suldanessalar, but could not approach me while I was in the Elven City. She had killed a lot of other Bhaalspawn, and was now head hunting for me. I told her of her two choices: withdraw from hunting me further, or be magically imprisoned within the ground; I told her she will not kill me, but neither will I kill her. She must have thought she was strong enough to not have to take my words seriously. She now has quite a bit of time to analyze her mistake.

When she had disappeared as I said, her companions did not enjoy such a sight; they left rather quickly. I had my own problem to deal with. I had not only battled the Bhaalspawn who used to hunt other Bhaalspawn to kill them, I then, once again, battled my own 'self'. This time, I did not fight it from the standpoint of battling its struggle to manifest itself as the slayer. I attempted to mentally contain it, while also not allowing it access to the prime material plane. It either worked, or it simply submitted to me. I told it to take us to my Father Bhaal's abysmal realm, and we, once more, traveled to the pocket plane of Bhaal. It then disappeared from my consciousness. The pocket plane had changed, but before we could then take a look around, a Solar, who are servants and messengers of the Gods, appeared and spoke with me.

The Solar told me that I am central to the Prophesy of Alondo, of which the Seldarine had just spoken. Perhaps it is for my own good? However, I could wish for a few simple statements vice a prophecy. I had worked out the truth of the Koa-Toan prophecy; perhaps I will be successful on this one, too. Aside from greeting me and advising that she would be back, from time to time, to aid in my education, she obliquely referred to the power I was not ready to handle. There was no respite from this, as when the Solar left, the shade of Serovok appeared before us.

Imoen vehemently objected to his presence, and I was initially of like-mind; I did not see how his presence was in any way enlightening. Then it came to me to at least hear him out. He had been the Bhaalspawn who sought in his life to become the next God of Murder. It occurred to me that his knowledge may actually be useful; not in aiding such a return, but more with an eye towards the elimination of such a dark power, which might free me, at least in part, from the darkness within. He presented himself to me and proposed a deal to me. He would give of his knowledge that would be of use to me. In return, he wanted the smallest of fractions of my life force that he said would be enough to return him to life. I looked a question to Imoen and Aerie; they both looked displeased, but did not voice an objection. I then agreed to the deal. With a small flutter in my heart rate, it seemed that I then restored Serovok back to life. He was overjoyed with the exception that his armor, which had channeled the Bhaalspawn essence within him, had not returned. No matter, he said: the essence was no longer within him. He would do without the armor, as he once did. What he had gathered from the appearance of my pocket plane was that the portal would take me where I had to be, rather than where I would want to go. This was due to the prophecy he had obtained from an uncooperative sect of Cyric. It is in the Tyririan City of Saradush that I first had to go, according to the prophecy. Serovok then told me he could help me with my first challenge; I would have to surmount this challenge before leaving for Saradush. Feeling a bit light-headed, I staggered to the left and caught myself; I then saw the mystic force guarding a chamber dissolve. The chamber was directly to the left of the portal, as you face that portal.

I then tried to dismiss Serovok, but he then petitioned me to take him with me. I asked him why I should trust him. He said my blood held sway in my Father's realm. I could require an oath from him; such an oath would be as a geas - with such an oath, Serovok could not betray me. Unknown to him, I had seen the results of a geas on Yoshimo, whom I had counted a friend. I simply could not require a geas of anyone; I would have to trust Serovok. I told him there would be no such requirement; he could join me if it was his wish to come along with me. His bafflement was apparent. I was, after all, no longer the person I had even recently been. It would be up to Serovok what he did with his new life; he was free to make the same mistakes he made in his previous life. As for me, it was a bit of a test giving Serovok another chance to redeem himself. However, I had, after all, chosen the path of Love; even Serovok deserved a second chance. I think that I have been given one of those, myself! My own new life might even provide a good example for Serovok. That is as I hope it to be.

I dug into the provisions the Elves had prepared for us, spreading out quite a nice little meal that seemed to be enjoyed by all. Something was bothering me. After the meal, I asked Imoen and Aerie to rummage within the Bag of Holding to get some gear together for Serovok. I walked around the inner circle of the pocket plane, and met an imp named Cespenar. Cespenar, being quite lonely since Bhaal left the plane, told me I am his new master, further evidence of my being 'central' to the Prophecy of Alondo. Cespenar can 'make you shiny ones', which means that he can forge items of power for me, should I have the required ingredients. Having gone full circle, I told my friends I was going to get some rest, although I noted to them that I was restless and not to mind the Imp.

Bhaalspawn Chronicles Entry 7

Mission Impossible

Something was nagging me, similar to right before I magically found that Bodhi was near within her maze, waiting on me. It is on the edge of your perception: you cannot 'see' it, but you know what ever it is, it is there, almost like a live thing, actually taunting you to discover it, while doing the best it can to elude you. This is what I have come upon.

I can describe it as the First Level: a road you are traveling upon. What you can see of that road is limited to a very short distance ahead of your boots, since your focus is straight down upon the ground beneath those boots as they move, one after the other. This trek is the basic instinct of life: Survival and Creation of the Next Generation. This is experienced by all of life, I think.

Second Level: There is a subset of life which includes some part of nature and also that which is sentient. In this group, there is a higher brain or mind functioning within. This group has the whole of First Level along with Second Level: To this group, it is given the ability to rise high in the air above that road where they can perceive the road is actually a very large circle – the 'Circle of Life' – The young cling to and even love their parents and vice versa, and can even appreciate or love a group of their own species. This is the level where I believe that I, and a lot or all of sentient life on Faerun, operate.

Third Level (and final level, I think!): There is an even smaller subset of life which includes only sentient beings. In this group, there is an advanced brain functioning within. This group has all the capacity of the First and Second Levels, along with the Third Level. To this group, it is given the ability to actually lift the head up to scan the horizon, and actually see an infinite number of paths off the main road. What I mean to say here is: it is possible for this group to love all of creation.

The thing that has been nagging me is: I have taken a first step towards this 'Third Level'. However, the world is still operating at the second level. How will I be able to even start to operate at this third level, when life continues at the second level? I will, undoubtedly, meet beings that will seek to kill me. My dilemma becomes: To not kill means to be killed, or to suffer the same result for one or more of my 'group'. I would naturally wish to protect myself and my group from harm, going back into the second level – thereby not operating to my full potential. The bottom line here is that I will have to modify my newly found philosophy, and go back to the second level, at least for a while. Somehow, having seen this third level, my perception is that some things may still be worth fighting for prior to regaining and holding onto this third level.

So, I am back to the second level, hoping that I may soon return to the third level. Or, in other words, I find that I must embrace this regression after having gotten a taste of what may be the ultimate truth of reality: this possibility of an Eternal Love of All Creation.

I weep.

Bhaalspawn Chronicles Entry 8

Know Thyself

When we were finished with mundane considerations after our rest, I told my friends that I would like to hear of their lives, each in turn, specifically where that life intersected with my own. I asked them to hold nothing back, except that which they did not wish to discuss. I explained to them that I would like to know myself better; that their possibly diverse perceptions of me may give me a better insight than my perception, alone, may allow. Should I have given it any thought at all, I should have known that Serovok's perception would be, and was, the hardest to bear. After they had individually and privately had their turn, we gathered together, once more. I thanked them for their comments, then asked Serovok to separate the excess gear from the bag of holding, and put special items into one bin, Armor/helms and such into the second bin, and weapons and ammo into the third bin that were set out in a lopsided pyramid pattern within the inner circle of the pocket plane. I gave Aerie my Journal and Bhaalspawn Chronicles, asking her to read them. I asked her, if she wished, to retain the entries that were personal to her and I, then give the rest of them to Serovok, so that he could read them, too. I asked Imoen to join me, and together, we sought out Cespenar. Aerie and I had obtained a very powerful dagger within Watcher's Keep. Since I had collected 5 star sapphire gems, we had the requirements for Cespenar to make the dagger even more powerful. After Cespenar had forged the gems into the dagger and it had cooled off, I presented the dagger to Imoen. The improvement will not be discussed here, but Imoen was, as they say, all smiles; which gave me one, too! 


End file.
